youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
