I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
