perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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