...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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