Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
