Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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