There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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