so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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