Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He? As in you personified your dick?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize