areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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