dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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