Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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