my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
