How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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