just come out here and I will go home with you...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
