This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize