Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
