As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Randomize
