idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
