Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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