every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
