I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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