Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
