There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I am one with the molecules
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
