sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
