the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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