sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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