so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
