you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
