did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize