So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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