perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
