i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
