just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize