she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
and she was petting her beer can
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
