i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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