dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
