i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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