Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
