just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
