but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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