Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize