and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
