Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
