these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
