Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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