I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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