there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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