why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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