I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
