so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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