is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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