did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
