Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
