Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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