Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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