She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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