We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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